WNTW Wednesday

What Not To Wear Wednesday: Things you should get rid of immediately from your wardrobe and a recommendation to replace the piece that you just destroyed

What Not to Wear Wednesday: Bootcut Jeans

Hey Gents,

On Wednesdays I choose an article of clothing that should absolutely not be worn and give you a recommendation of something you should substitute that piece with instead. Today’s topic: Bootcut Jeans. Let’s take that a step further, poorly fitting pants in general.

So you think cowboys are cool? Don't even bother, those guys didn't even brush their teeth.

(Boot Cut) So you want to wear boots and look like a cowboy? Don’t even bother, those guys didn’t even brush their teeth.

A lot of guys don’t give a flying care about what type of jeans they wear. If you think off the rack (OTR), flared leg, no-brand jeans from Walmart are acceptable to wear, the answer is: they sure are! If you get your meals in soup form from the local shelter or have to pick up your three welfare-raised kids from your ex-wife’s boyfriend’s place an hour ago. You have the money. You have the time. So pick out some jeans that reflect the fact that you’re a free-thinking adult that can run with the pack! (This entry deals primarily with fit, which is the most important part of an outfit, period. I can discuss fabric, colorations, and such at a later time, because these are all secondary features to the bottom line.)

The problem with bootcut jeans is that they absolutely wreck the natural outline of your body. The flared leg openings are flattering to no one and the current trend leans heavily towards a large-upper and a narrow or straight-lower silhouette for men. Now that you know this, let me give you the solution to the problem that is as prevalent as the bubonic plague during its hay day. Tapered fit pants.

(Tapered Fit) And just like that, you look like a citizen from the 21st century. You’ve gone from Kmart pedestrian to dappered gent. Well done!

The perfect entry-level addition to your wardrobe is the Levi’s 508 Tapered Jeans. A tried and true brand paired with an unbeatable fit. The 508 is the regular tapered fit and the 511 is the skinny tapered fit. Most of you should pick up the 508s unless you have ever been called a “twig,” have been told that you need to “eat more often,” or have been mistaken for a fishing line in passing. Tapered pants reduce the amount of excess material around the thighs and through the leg openings. They fit closer to your legs and hug the leg the further they go down, as opposed to the bootcut flair, which does the opposite.

Additional recommendations to expand into once you get your go-to jeans:

Now go out and cop yourself a pair! You owe it to yourself!

Your Style Consultant,

Jack

 

 

 

 

 

What Not To Wear Wednesday: Cargo Pants

Hey Gents,

On Wednesdays I choose an article of clothing that should absolutely not be worn and give you a recommendation of something you should substitute that piece with instead. Today’s topic: Cargo pants.

Cargo Pants.jpg

Your bottoms (long pants and shorts included) should in no way, shape, or form be cargo. Unless you’re prodding rattlesnakes in the desert or trapping crocodiles near a river, avoid them at all costs! It’s probably one of the most common transgressions I witness on a regular basis. There is so much extra material and bagginess that it ruins your body’s natural outline and people will wonder what sketchy things you’re trying to smuggle somewhere. If I see you wearing cargo shorts, it tells me you are also likely to:

• Wear socks with sandals
• Be unemployed
• Not give a damn about your appearance

Here are some alternatives you should consider, to step up your style game:

• During the Fall/Winter, try a flat-front chino. Let me emphasize: do not get a pleated pair because you’re not attending church during the dust bowl era. Any casual mens clothier will have them, such as Uniqlo, Jcrew, Brooks Brothers, with my preference being for the Dockers Alpha Slim Tapered Chinos, for their variety of colors and unbeatable fit. You can find them on Amazon or a department store like Macy’s or Nordstrom and typically range in the $30-$50 spectrum. Cuff the leg openings for extra appeal.

Chino Pants

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

• During the Spring/Summer, try a pair of flat-front chino shorts for reasons exactly the same as above. For the shorts, I prefer the Uniqlo Chino Shorts for their great value encompassing price (around $30) and color options. Pair the pants with a patterned button down with the sleeves rolled and a pair of white buck oxford shoes for a great spring/summer look!

Chino Shorts

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your Style Consultant,

Jack